Senior

I just read a science article about Chimp Sex. Science is very serious and well funded with a lot of money. This research must have been a 16 month, 4 person expedition, estimated at $20.000 per month/person, makes at least $1,000,000.=. And the result is ... Chimps are sexually and genetically almost human ... good grief, poor chimps.

The original article;
The mating rituals of chimpanzees are more complicated than was known up till now. The females like sex with as much as partners as possible, but they rather keep it a secret.
That is one of the conclusions of a research expedition of the British University of St. Andrews. The scientists took of to Uganda for sixteen months to investigate the mating sounds of the African Chimpanzee.
From the research results the scientists could make up what female chimpanzees exactly mean when they make different sounds. That's how the Brits found out that the females kept very silent during copulation, so that other chimp bitches in the Uganda's Budongo Forest didn't find out what they were fooling around.
Another reason for the the silent sounds during copulation could be that the chimp females dont't like a bad reputation, so they can do the trick a next time again with other high ranking male chimps.

The funny thing with this item is - that you can translate it to any pastiche;
The mating rituals of US Democrats are more complicated than was known up till now. The females like sex with as much as partners as possible, but they rather keep it a secret.
That is one of the conclusions of a research expedition of the British University of St. Andrews. The scientists took of to Washington DC for sixteen months to investigate the mating sounds of the typical female Democrat.
From the research results the scientists could make up what a female Democrat exactly means when she makes different sounds. That's how the Brits found out that the females kept very silent with assertive males, so that other bitches in the Washington Forest didn't find out what they were fooling around.
Another reason for the the silent sounds during these festivities could be that the females don't like a bad reputation, so they can do the trick a next time again with another high ranking Washington wimp.